Our favourite Edinburgh Fringe jokes!



Today marks the first day of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, the biggest arts and comedy festival on this planet, which sees some of the biggest names in comedy as well as a whole host of up and coming acts perform for the whole month of August.

While the results for this year’s annual funniest joke aren’t in yet (it has only just begun, remember), here are our top picks over the last few years…

“I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.” – Tim Vine

“I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re ‘Up Where They Belong’ – Sarah Millican
Find Sarah Millican tickets here

“So much for Taylor Swift. She sent back my trousers unmended!” – Milton Jones

“My girlfriend worries about me cheating on a night out, but I always try to reassure her and say to her: ‘Why would I go out and have a burger when I have steak at home?’ The only problem is, when you are drunk, burgers are well nice.” – Rob Beckett
Find Rob Becket tickets here.

“Walking down the Royal Mile is like scrolling through the mind of a failed actor.”  – Chris Ramsey

“Recently in court, I was found guilty of being egotistical. I am appealing.” –  Stewart Francis

“I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.” – Jack Whitehall
Find Jack Whitehall tickets here.

“My mother is so pessimistic. If there were an Olympics of pessimism, she wouldn’t fancy her chances.” –Nish Kumar

“Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.” –  Jimmy Carr
Find Jimmy Carr tickets here.


How are they for a coffee break laugh? If you’ve not managed to make it to the Fringe, fear not as we have a whole host of top comedy on sale throughout the country.

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About Siobhan Baranian

Marketeer and Yorkshire Tea enthusiast. I'm in charge of TicketNews and write about upcoming events, news and fun features from the wonderful world of entertainment. I particularly love all things comedy related. Well, laughter is the best medicine isn't it?

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